I know that
there are a lot of single ladies out there who like me, wish to have the kind
of love story we read in Wattpad, watch in Youtube, and see in Tumblr. But upon
of it all, I have a message for you.
I have been single for almost 3 years now,
people ask me why I have no boyfriend even people who court me. I always give a
big smile and joke that he will come someday. But in some moments of my life, I
always think of the answer which is crazy for I myself did not know it. (I know,
crazy me) I am even giving effort to make myself presentable but that even doesn’t
help at all. I just always ends up asking myself the same question. Why?
Some people told
me that I may have done something for them not to like me but I say “they will
like me for me”. But as a cliché as it is , in our world, people change for the
once they love. For them to fit in with the standard of the person they are
admiring. Believe me I done that ( and it did not work.). They also told me
that I might have high standard that guys do not want me to ask on a date. But my
friends told me that, they have to know you for them to like you. I admit I like
dressing up and fashion overall. At school, they call me the fashionista and
the girly girl but with all of this I am not that stereotype fashionista in the
movies. I am a working student to pay for my college; I prefer fishballs and
kikiam or streetfoods rather than Korean restaurants (my tummy got sick when I get
those foods), I am boyish girl inside for when I talked to guys I am literally masculine
(astig ba ganun). My close friends knew all of this but guys that wants to date
me doesn’t. And I hate how they do not want to try to know me.
Yes, maybe I am
single but some guys tried to ask me on a date and I said yes ofcourse. But I do
not know if it just me or after they ask me they do not know me anymore. Crazy.
I am not the girl who murders guys. I really have no idea what happened to them
and after a week they have a girlfriend. Nice. Okay let’s go back to my vibe
right now. Haha
After all the
craziness that had happen to me in the past months, a friend made me realize
something. She told me how she first met me. She knew me to be a jolly , bubbly
and talkative person who enjoys being single and being just with her friends. When
she told me this, tears flows in my eyes. It is true, the first time I entered
college, I do not think of boys, just
friends and taking care of myself. (that is why I change a lot physically). I focus
mind in my studies and activities. (dancing and singing competitions) she told
me that she miss this Chai, the old Chai, who dress up for herself not for boys
to like her.
After our
conversation, ofcourse I did not change in a snap, it’s a process. But now, I can
say that I am back in my old self. I focus my attention on things that is here
right now my friends and family and ofcourse God. Yes, when I look at couples, my face turn
blank but I have a remedy on that now. Every time I saw a couple I smile and
look up the sky and say, “I know Lord you will give me someone someday, not in
my perfect time but in your perfect time”
If you are like me single ad
very much ready to mingle, do not rush things. You know why it is a long wait
because it just means that you have to enjoy first you life with your friends
and family because when that person come to your life, your attention will just
be in him.
It is a long wait, but if you
enjoy you single life it won’t be that long.
Happiness is not depending on
having a relationship it is in you where happiness is.
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