Friday, December 26, 2014

The Waiting Period

I know that there are a lot of single ladies out there who like me, wish to have the kind of love story we read in Wattpad, watch in Youtube, and see in Tumblr. But upon of it all, I have a message for you.

 I have been single for almost 3 years now, people ask me why I have no boyfriend even people who court me. I always give a big smile and joke that he will come someday. But in some moments of my life, I always think of the answer which is crazy for I myself did not know it. (I know, crazy me) I am even giving effort to make myself presentable but that even doesn’t help at all. I just always ends up asking myself the same question. Why?
Some people told me that I may have done something for them not to like me but I say “they will like me for me”. But as a cliché as it is , in our world, people change for the once they love. For them to fit in with the standard of the person they are admiring. Believe me I done that ( and it did not work.). They also told me that I might have high standard that guys do not want me to ask on a date. But my friends told me that, they have to know you for them to like you. I admit I like dressing up and fashion overall. At school, they call me the fashionista and the girly girl but with all of this I am not that stereotype fashionista in the movies. I am a working student to pay for my college; I prefer fishballs and kikiam or streetfoods rather than Korean restaurants (my tummy got sick when I get those foods), I am boyish girl inside for when I talked to guys I am literally masculine (astig ba ganun). My close friends knew all of this but guys that wants to date me doesn’t. And I hate how they do not want to try to know me.


Yes, maybe I am single but some guys tried to ask me on a date and I said yes ofcourse. But I do not know if it just me or after they ask me they do not know me anymore. Crazy. I am not the girl who murders guys. I really have no idea what happened to them and after a week they have a girlfriend. Nice. Okay let’s go back to my vibe right now. Haha

After all the craziness that had happen to me in the past months, a friend made me realize something. She told me how she first met me. She knew me to be a jolly , bubbly and talkative person who enjoys being single and being just with her friends. When she told me this, tears flows in my eyes. It is true, the first time I entered college, I do not think of boys,  just friends and taking care of myself. (that is why I change a lot physically). I focus mind in my studies and activities. (dancing and singing competitions) she told me that she miss this Chai, the old Chai, who dress up for herself not for boys to like her.
After our conversation, ofcourse I did not change in a snap, it’s a process. But now, I can say that I am back in my old self. I focus my attention on things that is here right now my friends and family and ofcourse God.  Yes, when I look at couples, my face turn blank but I have a remedy on that now. Every time I saw a couple I smile and look up the sky and say, “I know Lord you will give me someone someday, not in my perfect time but in your perfect time” 



If you are like me single ad very much ready to mingle, do not rush things. You know why it is a long wait because it just means that you have to enjoy first you life with your friends and family because when that person come to your life, your attention will just be in him.  

It is a long wait, but if you enjoy you single life it won’t be that long.

Happiness is not depending on having a relationship it is in you where happiness is. 


Find the reason

Christmas in the province.
            December 25, 12:00am we traveled to La Union. We had a crazy ride. In normal days when there are no traffics it only take 30 minutes to travel but unfortunately that did not happen. We were in La Union at exactly 2:oopm. Ad there are actually tough times in the road. First, I am not the kind of person who can travel for I got sick and dizzy in the ride. Second, our car broke. We were nearly there like literally meters away but unfortunately the battery of the car doesn't want to go farther anymore.

            In the time that we wait for my dad to fix it, I was amazed with the view of La Union (first time to travel there, I told you I don’t travel Haha). The view is just breath taking.



 In our trip I have learned something. In bad things that are happening in our life God is trying to show us something. There are reasons in everything we do. Like us being stock in that view.


 

Long time

Its been a long time since I post something in here. I almost forgot that I have one. In the past months, I am not really feeling the vibe to post anything in my social media. I don't know why but it made me depressed when I am online. That is why I am not posting anything. There are alot of things that had happen to me in the past months crazy ride it is. But I hope that I will be back soon. I want to be back to myself where I LOVE writing, where this is my stress reliever. Hopefully I will be back.